Learn Chinese with Comprehensible Input: Daily Reactions

Do you like eating at restaurants?

Yes, I do.

You do, right?

Mm.

Alright, now you've ordered your food.

The waiter brings it over.

He brings your dish over.

Ah.

Just as you're about to eat, you see...

Huh?

There's an insect in my food!

There's an insect!

What do you do then?

What do you...

What would you do?

It depends.

It depends, depends on the situation.

If it's really...

If it's a really disgusting insect,

I would...

I would ask, ask the waiter.

Call the waiter over.

Right, call the waiter over.

Call the waiter over.

And what do you say to the waiter?

Uh, excuse me,

there's an insect in my plate.

Can I get a replacement?

Can I get a new plate?

A new plate.

The waiter takes a look.

Then the waiter says,

"No problem, no problem."

Then he picks up...

He picks up your napkin.

Napkin.

You know napkin?

This is it.

To wipe your mouth.

If you're sweating, you can wipe off the sweat.

Wipe your mouth, this is a napkin.

So the waiter picks up a napkin, then he...

He picks up the insect.

And throws it away.

How can that be possible?

Hahaha.

He says, "Now you can eat."

He says,

"It's fine, look at this."

"This insect isn't in your food."

"It's next to the plate."

"It doesn't matter."

"Eat."

What do you do then?

Well, if I really feel like it's unacceptable,

I'll just leave directly.

Because I haven't...

I haven't paid yet, right?

Right, right, right, right.

So you're not someone who likes to lose their temper.

No, I wouldn't.

I wouldn't get angry at the waiter.

You wouldn't shout.

You wouldn't criticize him, no.

No, I wouldn't at all.

You wouldn't pick up your napkin.

And throw it on the floor.

You wouldn't say that.

Not a good customer, okay?

Okay.

If you're not at a restaurant,

You're eating outside your house.

And then that yellow insect flies over.

Okay.

A bee, we're talking about a bee.

Bee, bee.

So you're eating with your family.

And then a bee flies over.

It flies next to your dish, next to your plate.

What do you do then?

It depends.

If, if I, I'm alone, mm.

I would do this.

Ah, you'd wave your hand, shoo, shoo, shoo.

Shoo, shoo.

You want to shoo it away, shoo it away.

Shoo it away. I'd, I'd shoo it away with my hand.

Shoo it away. Right.

Shoo it away. Mm, right, right, right.

If I, I give you a, um, beautiful woman.

Right, a beautiful woman can slap your face.

Hahaha.

If this bee is on your face,

it can slap, slap your face.

Hahaha.

Is that it? Is that what it means?

No, no.

Absolutely not.

Then what do you want to say?

Right.

If I'm eating with a beautiful woman, right?

And then she...

She shouts at it.

"Don't come help me!"

"Don't come over and help me!"

"Come help me!"

What do you do then?

Mm.

I, I, I kiss, I kiss her.

Then I kill...

I kill that insect.

So you kill the insect.

Why did you kiss her before?

Because, because it's a good opportunity.

She doesn't care if you kiss her.

Okay.

Right, so you wouldn't pick up...

You wouldn't pick up a napkin.

And swat, swat the bee dead?

Uh, you could.

Right, good.

You could.

This 'pat' can also mean what?

You can clap hands, clap hands.

Take pictures.

Take pictures, take photos. Right.

All can. Right.

You can also pat, pat, pat, pat a beautiful woman's head. Right.

Hahaha.

Say you're cute.

What if you want to swat the bee dead but you didn't...

You didn't hit the bee.

So you didn't hit the bee.

Then the bee gets very angry.

The bee gets angry.

So the bee will fly over and sting you.

Sting you.

Sting, sting, sting, ah, sting, sting, sting you.

At this time, the bee flies over to sting you.

What do you do?

This is called 'cover'.

Cover, cover, cover.

Cover.

Cover your face.

Cover your face. Right.

The bee is going to sting you, you cover your...

Your face. This way the bee will what?

Only sting my hand.

Right, it can sting.

It can't sting your face.

But it can sting your hand.

Right, right, right.

Right, right, right, right.

But the beautiful woman is also next to you, oh.

At this time, do you help her?

Or do you cover your face?

Or do you help her cover hers?

Mm, need to help her.

Help her.

Hahaha.

You're very gentlemanly.

Gentleman, very gentlemanly.

When would a person cover their nose?

Cover their nose.

Ah, if there's a very, very stinky thing.

Right, if someone poops.

Right? Someone poops, ah.

You need to cover your nose.

You could say that.

You could say that. Hahaha.

Right, not very gentlemanly, not very gentlemanly.

But you can say that.

How does it smell when someone poops?

This poop smells very, very what?

Very, very stinky.

Very stinky, ah, very stinky.

So you cover...

Do you eat stinky tofu while covering your nose?

No, no, no.

No, ah.

Need to, need to smell, smell, ah.

Smell, smell, smell, ah.

Right, so you think this 'stinky' is not a problem, right?

There is a problem, there is a problem, there is a problem. Hahaha, no.

It's not tasty, I'm telling you, it's not tasty.

Ah, really?

It smells very stinky.

But it tastes very fragrant.

Mm, very fragrant, mm, right?

No, I prefer regular tofu, right, right, right.

Don't like eating stinky tofu.

Ah, right.

What is this?

This is a banana.

Banana, ah, banana.

Very fragrant, right?

Fragrant, fragrant, banana.

Ah.

Ah, this is like what?

Sausage, sausage, sausage.

Inside your stomach.

That long thing inside your stomach is your intestines.

Intestines, oh.

Mm, okay, okay, okay, right.

Intestines.

That is, before pooping, poop has to come out of your intestines.

Hahaha, always needs to come out but can't, is that right?

Right, good.

Hahaha.

Right, so do you like eating sausages? Sausages.

Uh, to be honest,

not really.

Right, Germans.

Germans seem to like eating sausages more, right?

Right, Germans like them very much.

And hot dogs.

Hot dogs have sausages in them, right?

Hot dog.

Just think in English.

Hot little dog.

Woof woof woof, hot dog.

Huh, a dog, oh.

A dog, hahaha.

Hot dogs have sausages in them, right?

Ah, right, right, right.

Right, ah, right, right, right.

There's one sausage in a hot dog.

One sausage.

One, mm, one.

One banana.

One banana, ah.

One banana.

Two bananas.

Two, ah.

Three bananas, ah.

Hahaha, four bananas.

No, four bananas, hahaha.

What is this? This is...

A plate, ah, I'm carrying, I'm carrying a plate of bananas.

You're carrying a plate of bananas.

Right, a plate of bananas, ah.

So I have a plate of sausages here, ah.

A plate of sausages.

Mm, a plate of sausages.